This audit has been great...

I've only been here a couple of days, but they've been incredible. Some lady showed up at my motel room the other night ready to party. I was making some meth out of the motel shampoo, some clorox and a half bottle of Nyquil, when she showed up. Great night. I show up at the hospital after taking a day off, to work the audit. The auditors have some problems with how we are grouping the Pharmacy cost. This is obviously very important, so I volunteer to visit the Pharmacy to understand the whole process. Russell has asked me to put the moves on Buckethead. I think this job gets better everyday. I've never been with a CFO.

HR Chick

I scored with the Wilson Phillips looking chick today, in the parking deck of all places. I was planning on being off tomorrow due to such a conquest, but then Russell Luvmussell called and said I needed to hop a plane to help him with a big audit. He said there were hot girls in the hospital, so I am heading to the airport.

The Materman

I joined the Evil Empire as a "reporter" of Medicare about 9 years ago thanks to a fling with the boss's sister. I had just graduated college and was in no condition to take a job at McDonald's much less the Empire. I had a few habits, really bad ones, really illegal ones, that hindered my ability to spend more than a couple of hours in a state good enough to work. Oddly enough, no matter what I did, they kept me around. My first week I left early one day and just went home. When I say early, I mean roughly after lunch. The phone rang at home and I answered happily and got even happier when the voice on the other end sounded like a great girl I must have met in the past. Unfortunately it was my boss. We had a talk the next day, but nothing really happened. That set the tone for rest of my career leading up to the present.

I've always had a way with the ladies. I've been able to make them like me pretty much no matter what I do. I've always had a female boss, which has been the key to my staying employed. I get in good with all of them. Not just the hot ones, all of them. You never know when you're going to need back-up. They also feel sorry for me and do a lot of my work. No matter what, you must be liked by the ladies....NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

I miss on average a day a week. That of course does not include the weeks when I am on vacation. All in all, I probably miss about 70 or so days a year. Oddly enough no one seems to notice that my vacation and sick time falls well short of that total. Who would say anything? Not the ladies, they all like me too much. Not the guys, they don't care. They only wish they could do the same. Did I mention I'm a senior member of the department? I've got the title to prove it.

One day this will end. Probably not soon, but until then, this good ole boy is going to enjoy life.