I joined the Evil Empire as a "reporter" of Medicare about 9 years ago thanks to a fling with the boss's sister. I had just graduated college and was in no condition to take a job at McDonald's much less the Empire. I had a few habits, really bad ones, really illegal ones, that hindered my ability to spend more than a couple of hours in a state good enough to work. Oddly enough, no matter what I did, they kept me around. My first week I left early one day and just went home. When I say early, I mean roughly after lunch. The phone rang at home and I answered happily and got even happier when the voice on the other end sounded like a great girl I must have met in the past. Unfortunately it was my boss. We had a talk the next day, but nothing really happened. That set the tone for rest of my career leading up to the present.
I've always had a way with the ladies. I've been able to make them like me pretty much no matter what I do. I've always had a female boss, which has been the key to my staying employed. I get in good with all of them. Not just the hot ones, all of them. You never know when you're going to need back-up. They also feel sorry for me and do a lot of my work. No matter what, you must be liked by the ladies....NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
I miss on average a day a week. That of course does not include the weeks when I am on vacation. All in all, I probably miss about 70 or so days a year. Oddly enough no one seems to notice that my vacation and sick time falls well short of that total. Who would say anything? Not the ladies, they all like me too much. Not the guys, they don't care. They only wish they could do the same. Did I mention I'm a senior member of the department? I've got the title to prove it.
One day this will end. Probably not soon, but until then, this good ole boy is going to enjoy life.
2 comments:
Jimbo,
First let me say you are my hero. I have always wanted to be the "never come to work guy"
I am currently showing up almost EVERY DAY. I reduced my workday from 10 to 4, but I'm having trouble continuing to cut back from there.
Do you have any advice? I'm not a guy so I need some strategies other than flirting with the chicks.
Thx,
Buckethead
Train your co-worker's to expect you to be out. It looks good when you do show up. Also, and I cant stress this enough, you must have multiple health issues. Preferably ones that no one wants to discuss. This allows you to be late, leave early often due to those pesky doctor appointments. In your case, you would need docs that are not located in a convenient place. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
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